Seana Lyn

Cthulhu checks in on Foursquare

I dont know if you've been watchign the last few episodes of South Park, but if you have youd know that they have featured everyones favorite dark lord from another dimension...Cthulhu!

 

All this dark lord talk made me think about what it would be like if Cthulhu was not only summoned but he decided to check in on Foursquare...

 I mean obivously he would be the mayor of R'yleh right? He'd probably unlock the epic swarm badge as soon as he banished all souls to R'yleh along with him...

Best headline ever: Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke

Yeah theres not much you can say about this other that best headline ever!

Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke

 

"Van Dyke's ordeal began during an ill-fated trip to his local beach. "I woke up out of sight of land," the 84-year-old actor told reporters. "I started paddling with the swells and I started seeing fins swimming around me and I thought 'I'm dead!'"

Van Dyke was wrong. "They turned out to be porpoises," he said. "And they pushed me all the way to shore." The porpoises were unavailable for comment."

 

Here is my artist rendering of the event.

 

Runner up for best headline goes to Hot Momma Gossip for Dick Van Dyke Learns Life Has a Porpoise. Soooo punny!

For your Friday viewing pleasure...cats + Bullitt =

The new video from Holy Fuck "Red Lights"

 

I wish someone would make a full movie like this...Im super seious.

For once Im speechless....witness Cat Crack

I dont even know....

 

 

 

What's crazy is I saw this video yesterday when a friend forwarded it to me and at that time it only had around 309 views....now its over 60,000. The magic of the interwebs.

Is the music industry trying to sabatoge sports? Prince and Scott Stapp seem to be trying.

Now Im not the biggest sports fan on earth...but even Im a little pissed at two musical developments over the past few months that seem to be the music industry attempts to destroy sports from the inside out.

Now pardon me I know Im late the the party on these, but Im not the hippest to the sports team anthems circuit so Im hoping some of ya'll will be in the same boat.

 

First offense was Scott Stapp doing the Florida Marlin's theme song. Who is Scott Stapp? Yeah thats what I thought but the moment I heard the song I new immediately...

 

Oh yeah its the singer of Creed! You know how I knew that? It sound like every other goddamn Creed song! I feel like I cant exactly make fun of this song because its like making fun of Courtney Love...shes a hot mess and we all know it and this hasnt changed in years and it wont.

I think the only thing I can really say about this song is that the lyrics are so bad I thought it was an SNL joke at first. But sadly....with a little hope and faith you will soar are serious lyrics. Also I find it funny that they are the Marlins (a type of fish) and he keeps talking about soaring....maybe he thought a marlin was a bird....

 

Now onto the next offense. This one I really didnt believe was real at first but then I realized that Prince is just that crazy. Apparently he was so moved by a recent game of the Minnesota Vikings that he felt compelled to write a fight song for them based on their team colors.

 

 

WTF WAS THAT?!?!?! I mean what the hell!??? Seriously?!?!?!? I dont even know what to say. I mean technically its a fine song but its a fight song for a football team and it has a pan flute. Im pretty sure there is a law that pan flutes must remain 300 feet away from football at all time.

Oh and the icing on the cake is how the lyrics are written out. You can see them posted on the initial article on myfoxtwincities.com which is the news station Prince sent the song to.

 

"all of the odds r in r favor
no prediction 2 bold
we r the truth if the truth can b told"

 

Why did he write it out like a 12 year old online??? Im so confused right now.

I love you Prince...but this makes me embarassed for you. Im going to listen to Little Red Corvette on repeat until I forget this travesty ever occurred.